Holy Chao

Waking up is not a wholly remarkable process, many people tend to do so quite frequently, just about as often as they sleep. However this morning I woke, and it struck me how cold and sharp reality can be when you witness it, as compared to the comfortable bubble of a dream.

When I awoke, I was slightly perturbed.

We cannot be perturbed with our dreams, they are an expression of the subconscious mind. Dreams are harmless, and they can at worst distract us from, and at best highlight, what is important.

We cannot be perturbed with our reality, as it is what makes life wonderful and worth living. The dream is fleeting, and you cannot meaningfully laugh, love, or learn in a dream.

I was perturbed ultimately with myself for getting so wrapped up in the dream that I was first averse to awakening. This has passed, and I have taken from the dream what I feel is useful.

The delightful and divine miss Ev shall be mentioned here from time to time, at least if I know anything of the Goddess. Today she features as a co-conspirator and enabler for my twisted irreverent ponderings regarding marriage. She is of the same opinion I am, that the entire institution is really rather silly, so when I started mocking it by plotting out my own dogma-smashing wedding she went right along with it.

In this way my insanity was encouraged and I pursued it further than the original twisted premise of the groom dancing with his father and the bride dancing with her mother.

One further such reflection was on the importance of wedding invitations. Frankly, they don't have any. But some people attach a great deal to them, so it's a ripe target for mockery. I imagine mine would read something like this:

swanage and <unlucky girl> decided to get hitched. We'd like you watch the whole debacle, so please show up at <place> on <date> at <time>. Also we're gonna give you free food and liquor so don't forget to bring us a present, you ingrate. And for that matter, write back telling us how many people you're bringing to wolf down our food.

See? Simple, sarcastic, and straight to the point all at the same time.

Maybe it's not masculine for me to be pondering marriage as a single man, but by Eris, if riding a motorcycle and looking fucking hot as hell without a shirt on aren't masculine enough, I don't know what is.

In the past 24 hours I spent over 10 of them driving to go to the wedding of my friend Kris, which was held in Dublin, Virginia, which is just this side of Bumfuck. I managed to leave yesterday morning, and get home today at 2AM. I am sore, tired, and my mind is slightly addled. I am very happy to have gone.

But I think in my life I have slaughtered too many of their sacred chaos. Blogs are bad.

No really, they are, but the barrier to entry is so convenient!

I really, really like going to Playa del Fuego, as it's a celebration of some of the best parts of humanity. It is such a friendly and accepting environment, I wish that it was possible to destroy our society and rebuild it with that fleeting place as a foundation. Perhaps my hope that the result would be different from what we have now is naive.

Somewhat ironically, one of the more popular activities was shunning an individual whom demonstrated herself incapable of responsibly enjoying the free environment of PDF. Reflecting, I think I bore a disproportionate responsibility in encouraging unkind, dissociative behavior. I am not regretful however, as making someone else clean up your shit (literally, in this case!) is in my opinion an abuse of the kind of environment that's fostered out in Delaware twice a year.

I do know that I made new friends, I gave and was given too, and I came home feeling absolutely exhausted but also very good about helping someone who got stranded. I hope he is granted the same opportunity I was to enjoy helping a stranger, and I hope he seizes the opportunity to turn the stranger into a friend.